Moosejaw Bordeou (pantstacular) wrote in iyfic_challenge,
Moosejaw Bordeou

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One Shot Week #15 "Teamwork"

Title: Member of the Team

Rating: TV Y-7 for fantasy violence err...PG

Genre: Parody/Humor/General

Pairings: none

Word Count: 1,082

Summary: Sesshoumaru learns from his past and present to be a better youkai and be part of a team. Well...sorta.

Notes: This takes place during episodes 34-35 of the anime.

Sesshoumaru was never very much for being a team player. This was mostly because of a horrific experience during the try-outs for his high school cheerleading team. It was so horrible that Sesshoumaru legally forbid anyone to ever mention it in detail ever again.

So, since I wish not to be sued I will merely state this fact. This is why Sesshoumaru considered himself as a loner.

That was before he met Jaken. Then he considered himself a loner with a minion. Then when he met Ah-Un he was a loner with a minion and a giant…Ah-Un… thingy.

Then one fateful day…


Sesshoumaru sighed. He was getting quite tired of this whole not having a totally cool sounding sword that could hurt people. It made him rather upset that his dark and mysterious reputation was on the line for having a sissy sword. Tears formed in Sesshoumaru’s eyes as that horrible, but unspeakable memory returned. However, he quickly shook it off. His dark and cold-hearted bishounen license was already in trouble.

So, to cure this, the idea was to get Toutousai to make him a new sword that actually could give people big boo-boos. However, this was a very hard task being that Toutousai is well… Toutousai. Thus time and time again he had no luck in getting him to actually make the sword.

When he finally was able to catch up with Toutousai, luck had it that he was talking to stupid brother who actually got the cool sword.

“Toutousai, make me a new sword. “



“Nope” Sesshoumaru was really starting to get upset; however, before he could express his anger, all of the opposing people (and a cow and Kirara) had left the scene. This wouldn’t be so bad, but do you know how bad Sesshoumaru is at directions?

“Sesshoumaru-sama! I think we’re lost.”

“We aren’t lost.”

“I hate to intrude but I believe we have passed this rock five times already.”

“Jaken. Shut up. I’m trying to think of a way to defeat my brother.”
“I hate to speak after you have told me not to, but Sesshoumaru-sama, I heard them talk about your sword Tenseiga..”

“It sucks. Tetsusaiga is made to kill people; all my stupid sword can do is heal people. “


“I’m not sure. How about I try it out?” Then with a quick slash he chopped Jaken in half. However, to his dismay, the sword actually worked and did nothing.

Then at that very moment, Mr. Poofy-Pudding the Happy Dragon showed up. Unknown by all humans, Mr.Poofy-Pudding was a very popular youkai icon. He had a long running children’s TV show and made millions of yen on merchandise fees each year.

“Mr.Poofy-Pudding. I hope you know, I’m your biggest fan. How can I be like you?”

“Hahahaha! You’ll never be as cool as me, Sesshoumaru; with your sissy sword and lack of people skills!” In that very minute, his whole child-hood was shattered. He could not believe his beloved Poofy-Pudding to be such a big fake.

“I hate you. Die.” So he ripped off his arm and took it. He had heard that dragon arms could do some pretty awesome things and he wanted to get the cool sword back from InuYasha.

Then that was the last of Mr. Poofy-Pudding.


Finally Sesshoumaru stopped to ask for directions. Actually, he asked Jaken to ask for him, because he wasn’t lost and merely needed to be sure of their location. Then he finally found his brother.

“InuYasha. I dare you to give me your sword.”

“Keh. Sesshoumaru, I’ll never give to you…”

“I double dare you to give me your sword.”

“What part of NO do you not understand!?!”

“Physical Challenge?”

“What? Keh. Let’s just fight already!”

“Fine!” So InuYasha and Sesshoumaru fought. However, it wasn’t a very long battle, in fact it didn’t even take up half of the episode. InuYasha learned Kaze no Kizu and Sesshoumaru was sent flying clear into a near by forest.

Sesshoumaru was all alone and was bleeding and stuff. This really sucked. It sucked so much poor Sesshoumaru started to question his mere existence.

Mr.Poofy-Pudding was right, I am a sissy-sworded loner. Maybe if I wasn’t so uptight, I’d be happy, have friends, and a cool sword like InuYasha.

Then he heard a rustle in the bushes.

Oh crap. Someone might see me angsting. Maybe I can scare them away.

However, he was unable to do so. Instead, a small girl appeared from behind a tree. She looked very down to earth, but actually pretty cute. Sesshoumaru was feeling too sorry for himself to care.

“Leave here. I’m a powerful youkai, aren’t you afraid I could hurt you or something?” She shook her head. Then she left. However she soon came back. This time her little hand held a tiny bit of food. Being the cold-hearted person he was suppose to be Sesshoumaru turned it away.

“I don’t eat human food.”

The girl blinked and quickly ran away. She then returned with a cheeseburger Happy Meal.

“How did you know? Wow. I even got a Ballerina Barbie to finish my collection. I suppose I should say thank you.” He looked at her with a cold expression. She smiled. She was so cute when she smiled. However she left and that was it. It’s not like she could go with him or anything. He was a loner after all.

Finally Jaken showed up and helped Sesshoumaru out of this rather embarrassing predicament. Not that Jaken helping made it any better, but at least it was over. However, before they got much further on their way to being lost again, the strong scent of blood came from close by.

Then guess what? That cute little girl that helped out Sesshoumaru was dead. Wow, that sucked. However, this being a humor fic, I wouldn’t mention it if it was actually tragic would I? I’m not heartless!

This girl. She sure was cute, in a completely platonic way. She helped me even though her life was so short and painful from it. She still cared about me even though I was all mean to her and stuff. Oh well…

He tried to walk away, but Tenseiga stopped him. He knew then that he could help this girl. And for some reason, he did. Maybe this is what he needed. Not to be a loner with a weird thingie and a minion, but to be a group. Heck, maybe even a team.
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